All hail Chelsea Handler. Seriously, she couldn’t get any better if she tried.
In a brilliant video posted to social media, the comedian brutally mocked Fox News’ host Tucker Carlson and editor-at-large of alt-right Breitbart News, Ben Shapiro calling them “crybabies” who are clearly “triggered” by her.
Handler’s video was in response to Shapiro and Carlson’s misogynistic assessment of her life as a “miserable childless woman” after Handler had joked about the freedoms she had in life on a recent episode of the Daily Show.
Carlson, who is six years older than Handler, called her an “ageing, deeply unlikeable woman who never had kids,” while Shapiro insisted that it’s “written all over her face how miserable she is.”
Their commentary turned up a notch in sheer repulsiveness on Tuesday’s show, when right-wing radio host, Jesse Kelly said that “feminists like Chelsea Handler” have been “lied to by their society forever that you can be a girlboss, and you can do anything a man can do—which everyone who’s ever seen a woman back up a vehicle knows that’s not true.”
He went on to add that women like Handler have wombs that “resemble a dried-up tumbleweed blowing down an old western town, and your Valentine’s date for the tenth year in a row is a ten-year-old copy of Magic Mike and a half-full bottle of Xanax, and you’re trying to pretend like you’re happy, but you’re not happy.”
“Wow”. Said Handler in response. “Why would I even need my own children when I get to hear these crybabies all the time? You guys seem so triggered by me.”
She then laid into the pair in the most epic takedown this year.
“I don’t want to debate whether or not I’m a girlboss. Although I did just look at my bank account and think, ‘that’s pretty girlboss’. And then I thought about the ten different people I’ve been able to put through college. And then I remembered my six New York Times bestselling books… or was it five?… Oh no, no, no it was six. And then I remembered my recent stand-up special that was just released on Netflix called Revolution, and I thought: ‘Yeah, you are a girlboss'”.
She then brutally served “the receding hairline society” saying: “I mean, my goodness, Tucker, I think it is time for you to ask yourself a serious question: Are you really upset about how much freedom I have? Or are you upset that you haven’t been able to take it away from me yet?”
Before giving a “quick shout-out” to Shapiro: “Thank you for helping my cause of not having children. Who needs the birth control pill when your voice is 100% effective?”