At the beginning of the year I proclaimed in an interview, in no uncertain terms, “This won’t change me”. ‘This’ being the title of 2023 Australian of the Year.
Turns out I was wrong.
Over the past 10 months I’ve been stretched beyond what I knew to be my own personal limits. I’ve sunk to new mental lows, and risen to meet challenges at new, soaring, surreal heights. I’ve achieved more than I ever thought was possible and been broken into pieces in the process, finding now that the sharp, shattered pieces are coming back together, edges a little smoother, but in an infinitely stronger rearrangement.
I’m incredibly grateful for the experience. Mostly.
I know in time I will find the lessons within the more challenging moments. However, watching the state nominees come through recently for next year’s awards, I reflected on the 18 strong, inspiring women in this next cohort, each nominated by someone who wants to recognise their tireless efforts to make our country a better place, and asked myself if I felt okay with any of them enduring some of what I have this year as a woman in a high-profile position in this country?
The answer to that question, as you might have guessed, is ‘no’. Because not only are they human beings who deserve to be treated kindly and with respect, but they are also trying to make a difference, to change things—lives, communities, our country, maybe even the world.
Too often it’s these women—the ones who are doing big, bold work that dares to disrupt the status quo—who are cut down with criticism and commentary on what they’re wearing, what they’re saying or who they’re dating, with little focus on the change they are making.
So from my perspective, the least I can do now is offer a few words of reflection, a heads-up that can perhaps serve as a bit of a leg-up, so they can keep doing the good work.
Here are my hopes for you, future female Australian(s) of the Year…
I hope your voice is heard, and that you are able to continue your work without having to defend the need for it, simply because others are fortunate enough to not have experienced it themselves. Critics of my appointment as Australian of the Year had clearly never seen up-close the heartbreak and distress of living with body image issues and eating disorders, or experienced the immeasurable harm they cause to sufferers and their loved ones.
Know that your message is important. People might use your words against you or misrepresent the truth to try to undermine your cause, but don’t let the doubters be the loudest voices. You know who you’re here to help. Focus on them, and not the noise.
I hope you make a firm commitment to prioritise self-care in a year that can be demanding and relentless. It’s not indulgent to take care of yourself—mentally and physically—at a time when you’re giving so much to others.
I hope you choose to reject the narrative that you cannot be doing good things in the world and earning the money you need to pay your mortgage, feed your family and enjoy your life at the same time. Making money and making an impact, while they need to be managed carefully and ethically, are not mutually exclusive concepts. Perhaps the world would look different if we didn’t hold so tight to the idea that, when it comes to making change, ‘unless you’re scraping by, you’re not doing it right’. Value your time and expertise when it comes to the commercial opportunities that will inevitably come your way. Don’t unwittingly create your own gender pay gap.
If, like mine, your path to get here has been unconventional, I hope you are taken seriously—for the change you’re making, not the letters after your name. You don’t need anyone’s permission to change the world, just the courage, determination and commitment that got you onto that stage in the first place.
I hope you have the passion and energy to grab this opportunity with both hands, and the courage to make hard decisions when they arise. Being a leader brings with it many privileges but also many challenges, and sometimes you will have to make tough calls in the course of this work. They won’t always be popular, and not everyone will agree with what you’re doing. But as long as they come from a place of integrity, you can’t go wrong.
I hope that you are able to show yourself kindness and self-compassion, and recognise that all previous winners are united by two things—this title, and the fact that we are human. The title is Australian of the Year, not Robot of the Year, so you will make mistakes (I know I have!) Own them, learn from them and move on. Your cause is far too important to be distracted by endless mental loops about what you ‘could’ or ‘should’ have done.
And finally, I hope that among all of the endless travel, meetings, talks, awards nights and media calls you can revel in the lighter moments too. If you can take the work seriously, but not yourself, you’ll find humour in unlikely places, and these moments will sustain you—like the other day, when I could only laugh as I caught myself on a plane reading the Forbes magazine on my lap while watching Ex on the Beach on the screen in front of me. Again, we are all human, each of us a beautiful, messy, walking contradiction. Don’t feel the need to be someone you’re not.
The title of Australian of the Year is a true honour, and this year is one I will never forget. I hope you will have the same opportunity to grow and learn over the next year, and to continue to make this country a better place—because that’s what this is all about.