Sharing trauma in leadership is not for everyone, nor should it ever be expected. But Hannah Moreno shares how it’s made a difference to her.
Authenticity has long been seen as the hallmark of an inspirational leader. And being authentic is inextricably linked with being vulnerable.
Brené Brown catalysed this idea in her famous TED Talk, The Power of vulnerability, while author and speaker Simon Sinek has been reinforcing it for years.
Our professional brands are now indelibly coloured by a range of powerfully humanising personal aspects – a phenomenon only strengthened by a pandemic that drove a deeper integration of the personal and professional.
Yet it can be tempting to “do vulnerability” in an invulnerable manner.
Genuine versus surface-level vulnerability
We joke about those transparently self-serving job interview answers to the “biggest weakness” question: “I’m too punctual” or “I’m just such a perfectionist”.
Yet far too often, “vulnerability” comes in the form of a semi-manufactured, surface-level humble brag too.
Tales of how we triumphantly emerged from the ashes of commonplace mistakes or temporary failures can create a feel-good, hopeful aspect to our professional narrative. But they can also be quite superficial and miss an opportunity for proper connection and inspiration.
So many of us walk around with hidden traumas that impact every facet of our professional and personal lives.
Yet it’s still uncommon to see any mention of trauma infiltrate our professional narratives. We still fear that speaking openly about certain uncomfortable topics will lead to us being stigmatised and criticised within our professional spheres.
But I believe trauma might just be important when it comes to presenting our most authentic professional selves.
Trauma’s many forms
To clarify, my professional expertise is in professional and personal reputation building. I am not a psychologist. Rather, my understanding of trauma is deeply personal.
The traumas I’ve experienced over my life cover sexual assault, domestic violence, miscarriage, and more. They led me to hundreds of hours of trauma-informed counselling and the type of self-education that becomes urgent for survival.
This unfortunate crash course revealed how varied our traumas can be.
For example, traumas can range from constant micro-aggressions, to “little t” traumas (relatively minor events), to “big T” traumas (deeply disturbing and/or life-threatening events or situations).
They can be “acute” (singular, brief, and narrow in focus), “chronic” (prolonged or repeated), or “complex” (multiple events that are invasive, interpersonal, wide-ranging, and long-term).
There can be a perpetrator, such as in the case of rape or bullying. Or there might not be, such as the case of a miscarriage or a car accident.
No matter the form, being legitimately vulnerable about your traumas – particularly in a professional setting – can be immensely powerful.
Trauma: the case for yes
Being (genuinely) vulnerable can result in a range of benefits for leaders and the teams they support.
Doing so can create powerful connections with others who have travelled a similar path, or inspire those at the start of their journey. It can demonstrate resilience, bravery, strength, empathy, and even problem-solving skills.
These are all traits of a great leader.
But, to take it one step further, true leaders should also want to uplift and inspire large groups of stakeholders and society as a whole – which is exactly what can occur by speaking out.
Speaking out can help to normalise and de-stigmatise situations that should not have been stigmatised in the first place. This uplifts all trauma victims and brings abusive behaviours to account. As I often say, it should not be embarrassing to have been abused. But it’s definitely embarrassing to be an abuser!
Speaking out helps others to understand. When I talk about my experiences as a woman to my husband and any male colleagues and contacts, I find that many men have no idea of the full depth of what women experience due to their gender. It’s often the same when people with a disability, people of colour, or trans people talk about their experiences to me.
Speaking out might inspire someone else to follow and call out bullying or other traumas in their workplace. If this was to become commonplace, it could result in healthier workplaces and industries for all.
Speaking out has so many flow-on effects for businesses and society. And we all have the potential to affect some of these positive changes within our personal spheres of influence.
And these positive impacts will be further accelerated and amplified if enacted by those in leadership positions, who often set the tone for a whole organisation, and can even impact the culture of their wider industry.
Trauma: the case for no
Regardless of the above benefits, trauma survivors must prioritise protecting themselves.
If you are still actively processing a trauma and are in your earlier stages of healing, it may hurt your progress to make yourself more vulnerable. This is especially the case if your triggers are still intense, frequent, and/or unpredictable.
If you suspect a co-worker might be triggered by you speaking out, it’s worth putting their needs first and allowing them a workspace free from triggering discussion.
If your professional sphere is not emotionally or psychologically supportive, it also may not be safe for you to speak freely about personal matters. Please don’t put yourself in a position where you are professionally punished for speaking out about your trauma. You’ve already suffered enough.
Finally, you should not include your traumas in your professional narrative if you don’t want to. Nor should you ever feel as if it’s your job or responsibility to do so. Speaking up can also create even more work for those who are already contending with overload.
So remember, even if you see a clear opportunity to speak up, or are actively asked by others to do so, you should always remember that it’s OK to say no.
We all have different levels of comfort when it comes to sharing who we are on a personal level. We also carry different levels of privilege that may make speaking up a little easier for some, but harder for others. Not all of us need to be advocates.
Those who are in a position to open up and speak out can do a lot for those who can’t.
If you need help or if this article raises issues for you, please know that help is available. You can reach out to:
1800 Respect: 1800 732 732 or 1800respect.org.au
Lifeline: 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or beyondblue.org.au
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 or kidshelpline.com.au
Headspace: 1800 650 890 or headspace.org.au