Released on Wednesday, the data shows nearly 28 per cent of this group cited a lack of access to early childhood education and care as a barrier to employment, due to spots being booked out or inaccessible to them geographically. And 11.1 per cent said it was too expensive. 

The figures add to the mounting evidence of the “motherhood penalty“, the idea that becoming a mum in Australia comes with a high price for women. Last year, Treasury analysis found that women’s earnings falling by an average of 55 per cent in the first five years of parenthood, while men’s earnings are generally unaffected when they enter parenthood.

The ABS survey asked women with children under 15 what would help them in being able to take on a job. The majority (67.6 per cent) said the strongest incentive is the ability to work part-time hours. Many women also cited the ability to work during school hours and 53 per cent cited the ability to vary start and finish times. 

“These findings tell the story of the juggling act that so many women find themselves trying to balance– one that strikes the right balance between feeling financially stable and pursuing parenthood in a way that works for them,” said Georgie Dent, CEO of The Parenthood.

“Unfortunately, the structure of our society is still set up for an era that no longer exists, when dads worked and mums didn’t.

“In modern Australia it takes two incomes for most families to cover a mortgage or the rent, but it takes affordable early childhood education and outside school hours and care to earn two incomes.” 

Georgie Dent, CEO of The Parenthood

Unlocking $128 billion for the Australian economy

This isn’t just a personal issue either. The systemic barriers holding women back from the workforce are costing the Australian economy $128 billion, according to the Women’s Economic Equality Taskforce. The tasforce released a final report at the end of last year, looking at how much money could be gained with women’s full and equal participation in economic activity. 

“Women’s economic inequality is so normalised that people assume it is a result of women’s choices, but Australia has the most highly educated female labour force in the world,” the Chair of the Women’s Economic Equality Taskforce, Sam Mostyn AO told the National Press Club back in October. 

Considering this high price for the Australian economy, Dent says that “early childhood education and care centres in Australia should be funded by the government as critical infrastructure”. 

“Early childhood education and paid parental leave must be seen as critical infrastructure. You can’t go to work if you don’t have a road to get there. You can’t go to work if you don’t have an affordable and safe place for your kid. These things are synonymous.”

Gender equal parenting

Last month, The Parenthood launched The Dad’s Alliance Action Plan, showing that Australian men also want to see a cultural shift in which childcare and employment policies permit both parents to share the work and care loads. 

To do this, Dent says The Parenthood wants the Government to remove the Activity Test (a highly criticised requirement for parents to access subsidised early childhood education and care), make childcare more affordable for low and middle income families with young children and develop more early learning centres in regional and remote areas. 

“We also want to see an increase to paid parental leave entitlements for both mothers and fathers, so that less parents feel their care and career trajectories are at odds,” says Dent.

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I called my sabbatical parental leave without a baby. Unsurprisingly, it was nothing like parental leave with a baby. In Canada on school days, between the hours of 9am and 3pm, my time was my own. I had nowhere I needed to be and nothing that I needed to do. That freedom felt every bit as luxurious as my younger-self on parental leave with a baby could have imagined.  

Routine liberation notwithstanding, there was one similarity between my experience of parental leave with a baby and without. I often found myself asking the same question: How do people all over the world do this? HOW? 

Learning the ropes with a newborn for the very first time is a singularly foreign experience that has never been better described than by Esther Walker when she said: “It’s like being asked to sit your A-Level exams. In Russian.”    

In Canada I had no newborns to tend to, and it wasn’t Russian I was trying to master, so why did I find myself flummoxed? Because raising children without a skerrick of a village is HARD. 

When we arrived in Toronto we really didn’t know anyone. We were properly on our own trying to find our feet and even with older children it was a gigantic undertaking. The ages of our daughters meant the travel itself – planes, trains, airports – was (save for the inevitable sibling warfare) civilised. 

There were no prams, nappy bags, naps or bottles to juggle. Our girls could carry their own bags, watch movies, read, cut up their own food and tolerate the travel without much hassle. 

But, taking older children out of their comfort zone and placing them into a whole new unfamiliar world presented challenges that younger children might not encounter. They felt the absence of family, their own friends, their regular activities and the familiarity of home keenly.

Being overseas, away from the comfort and anchor of home, very naturally increased the emotional support our girls needed, at the very same time our own options for support were dramatically reduced. We were without grandparents, siblings, friends, neighbours, our regular and beloved babysitters. We really were on our own. The cumulative pressure on the family unit brought an intensity to daily life in which the highs were higher, and the lows lower. It was alot. 

It reminded me – viscerally – that the adage about needing a village to raise a child isn’t hyperbole. It’s factual. 

Parenting is, easily, the hardest job in the world. The patience, resilience, optimism and strength it requires, daily, cannot be downplayed. 

I maintain that there is nothing as physically relentless as having babies and toddlers; the 0-to-5 window is peculiarly demanding in ways too many fail to readily acknowledge and appreciate. If you are a parent with children under 5, I see you and I promise life will not always feel like a marathon no one really knows you’re trying to complete every day. 

I promise you that fast forward five years you will find yourself inexplicably longing for the opportunity to go back in time for just one more day with those sweet, funny, wild bundles of need. This does not mean you should be soaking up every minute right now. You just can’t. It is a chapter of survival that is filled with affection and joy and boredom and exhaustion and love. Enjoying the moments you do enjoy, however fleeting, is enough. 

I am no longer in that chapter and as a family we are now able to explore and enjoy life in ways that were utterly unfathomable when our girls were younger. But parenting remains the hardest job in the world. 

I have done some hard things in my life but nothing challenges me in the way that parenting does. One reason, I believe, parenting can feel so difficult is that so much of the trickiest terrain is invisible. As children grow older their privacy really matters and their highs and lows aren’t ours, as parents, to share. 

This can create the false notion that raising children is more straightforward than it really is. That belies the conversations I have with parents every single week. Conversations in which the full extent of parenting – in all of its grit and glory – is clear.

From managing illness or a diagnosis, to tricky sibling dynamics, to social exclusion and loneliness, to intense dysregulation, to school refusal, disordered eating, anxiety, relationship breakdowns: the list of specific triggers is endless but the result is the same. Families struggling behind closed doors. 

Parents spending hours and hours of time trying to work out what support looks like for their child or family. Tears. Angst. Heartache. Desperation. From professional intervention, to quick fixes: whether the challenge is health, social, educational, behavioural – there are parents out there hunting down answers to problems many don’t know they’re facing. 

My stint on parental leave without a baby taught me once again that parenting is the biggest, most-consuming job in the whole wide world for which there is no formal training. 

It is why The Parenthood exists; not just to lobby for positive policy changes like better paid parental leave and access to quality early education, to ensure parents and carers and children are supported, but to ensure that the reality of parenting and caring is recognised and validated. By leaders, employers, government, decision-makers but also? By us! 

It is the biggest, toughest, most important job that we all need to acknowledge and validate as such. So, if you are a parent or a carer you have permission to recognise the work you do every day.    

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The use of surrogacy, in which a woman carries and delivers a child for someone else, has grown exponentially in recent years and is expected to continue to do so. While headlines often surface when celebrities like Paris Hilton grow their family using the technology, it also gets attention on the rare occasion a surrogate refuses to relinquish the child they carried, or when surrogates experience exploitation.

Such human rights violations appear to be the reason that Francis condemned the practice. But in so doing, I argue, the pope is failing to recognize how varied and nuanced the experiences of intended parents, surrogates and children are.

I have researched surrogacy for over a decade and have learned many things: Some women indeed become surrogates out of desperation and are abused in the process, as the pope says. But others, like the Christian ethicist Grace Kao, are thriving professionals who make the choice for altruistic reasons and never accept remuneration.

The complex reasons why women become surrogates and why parents choose to create families in this way make it nearly impossible to issue a universal conclusion about it. Instead, like many technologies, surrogacy’s ethical value is dependent upon the people and systems who use it.

Catholicism and surrogacy

While the pope framed his condemnation of surrogacy as a human rights abuse, the Catholic tradition has consistently opposed surrogacy, in vitro fertilization and abortion on the grounds that they violate natural law.

Natural law is a philosophy that states there are certain unchangeable parts of human nature that God endows. Catholic theologians who support this basic view extrapolate that intercourse within heterosexual marriage is the only acceptable way to reproduce, that life begins at conception, and that an embryo has a right to life from conception until natural death.

Hence, the Roman Catholic Church only encourages reproduction within the confines of heterosexual marriage, and when a heterosexual couple cannot conceive via intercourse, they are encouraged to adopt or remain childless.

The church has consistently condemned IVF because conception takes place outside of heterosexual intercourse. IVF results in the destruction of embryos and involves conception via a test tube. The church likewise has never supported surrogacy, so the pope’s recent assessment of surrogacy as “despicable” is consistent with the church’s overall views of reproduction.

Nonetheless, surrogacy is the only form of assisted reproduction documented in the Bible, unless one considers Mary’s conception of Jesus to be a form of assisted reproduction. In the Book of Genesis, the wife of Abraham begs her husband to have sex with her slave Hagar in order to procreate. Sarah abuses the slave and orchestrates both sex and procreation without Hagar’s consent.

Hagar eventually bears a son named Ishmael. Later, Sarah demands that both Hagar and Ishmael be cast out into the wilderness. Muslims regard Ishmael as a prophet and believe he and Abraham built the Kaaba in Mecca, Saudi Arabia.

Myths and fears

Fast forward to modern times, and surrogacy is now performed predominantly in high-priced in vitro fertilization centers in one of two ways. In “traditional surrogacy,” the fertilized egg belongs to the surrogate. In “gestational surrogacy,” which is more common today, the fertilized egg comes from either the intended mother or a donor.

In both cases, that egg combines with a sperm to become an embryo that grows in the surrogate’s womb and not the intended mother’s.

Gestational surrogacy may be preferable because it allows intended mothers to maintain a genetic connection with their child. Others may prefer it because of fears that a surrogate could lay claim to the child with whom she had a biological connection.

The concern that a surrogate will try to steal or adopt a child is one of many legal and ethical fears surrounding surrogacy. In the 1980s, the Baby M Case in the United States attracted much media attention because it tapped into these fears. In this situation, the surrogate, named Mary Beth Whitehead, attempted to retain custody of the baby she birthed.

The case fueled a stereotype of surrogates as emotionally unstable, defying the reality that surrogates undergo psychological testing before participating in a procedure.

Documented instances of surrogates retaining children are also rare. Research shows that surrogates often experience pregnancy and birth differently than they did with their own children. They also often see themselves as heroes or gift givers instead of mothers.

If the public perceives surrogates negatively, intended parents often fare no better. They are often categorized as selfish, desperate and rich, especially when they choose surrogacy without a medical reason.

Those popular images of intended parents fail to account for the reproductive trauma many of them experience prior to turning to surrogacy. The decision to hire a surrogate is often the last option for parents who have tried everything else and are, as I’ve proposed in my own research, attempting to write a happy ending to the story of their reproductive lives.

Critics counter that individuals who use surrogates should be turning to adoption instead. However, this logic fails to recognize that adoption can be traumatic for the child and the birth mother. Adoption, therefore, isn’t a cure-all for individuals who can’t conceive via heterosexual intercourse.

Ethical concerns about surrogacy

It is true that surrogacy is expensive, at least in the U.S., where use of the technology routinely costs over US$100,000. The cost is so extreme because intended parents pay health care fees for both themselves and the surrogate, many of which aren’t covered by insurance.

They also have to pay legal and agency fees and compensate the surrogate, which alone can range from $45,000 to $75,000. Contrast that price tag to the one in India prior to its ban on international surrogacy in 2015: Couples who traveled there could expect to spend $15,000 to $20,000 in total for their surrogacy journey. The extreme costs of surrogacy in the U.S. also limit its availability to the wealthy.

In addition, feminists are divided on how surrogacy affects women. Some feminists feel that surrogates have a right to choose what to do with their bodies. Others object to surrogacy on the grounds that systemic oppression drives women into surrogacy, or that it’s unethical for people to buy women’s bodies.

Cases documented in India support these concerns. Investigative journalist Scott Carney found one prominent Indian surrogacy clinic where surrogates were kept in crowded bedrooms on restricted diets and forced to have Cesarean sections in order to streamline the labor and delivery process.

Scholars also worry about surrogacy’s impact on children. Extensive research hasn’t been conducted with children of surrogates, but research by social scientists studying children born via egg and sperm donation largely mirrors the findings of adoption research: Children have questions about their identity, and they find answers from individuals who are part of their birth story.

Yet agencies and governments rarely regulate how surrogates, intended parents and children interact following the baby’s birth.

The case for surrogacy

Such objections might lead to the conclusion that there is never a reason to hire a surrogate. But this might be too simplistic. Even with the documented struggles on the parts of both intended parents and surrogates, many are profoundly grateful for the technology.

Intended parents often feel surrogates are “gifts from God” who help them reach their dream of parenthood. Meanwhile, some surrogates believe their powers of procreation provide them with a unique opportunity to help others. Many surrogates see their ability to create life as a source of power, a profound act of altruism that is part of their legacy.

When I spoke with a group of surrogates in Austin, Texas, while conducting research for my book, I found that their stories aligned with the findings of other researchers who discovered that many surrogates had positive experiences in which they experienced themselves as heroes. These women felt empowered because they helped infertile heterosexual couples and gay couples create families. Without surrogacy, these individuals would have no way to have a genetic connection with their children.

The surrogates acknowledged that sometimes intended parents could be difficult, that pregnancy and labor could be challenging, and that it could be confusing when a checkout clerk at the grocery store asked what they were planning to name the baby.

Becoming a parent through surrogacy can be awkward and humbling, confusing and miraculous all at the same time.

But when surrogates and intended parents can act freely, with appropriate regulations and the support of society, there is the potential for them to discover that family is not just biological but also social and relational. In those encounters, many experience the technology as life-giving, both metaphorically and literally.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

The post Pope Francis called surrogacy ‘deplorable’ – but the reasons why women and parents choose surrogacy are complex and defy simple labels appeared first on Women's Agenda.

Managing ‘screentime’ is another quite complex, often confusing item on the ballooning list of things that women have amongst their ‘to-do’ items along with remembering to check in with friends, top up the toilet paper, keep the pets alive – all the while trying to pursue paid work, meet career aspirations and fulfillment. 

From some commentators, young minds on screens are compared to using illicit drugs in sensational headlines about the negative impacts of screens, leaving parents trying to figure out how to use screens in a healthy way.

As the first generation of parents having to contend with this added layer of digital monitoring and mentoring, the job can often fall on mums: especially single mothers (the dominant form of single parenting households in Australia) and those with a second partner at home, with the stats from the Australian Bureau of Statistics finding that women engaged in unpaid care activities already spend an average 4 hours 31 minutes a day on care a day, compared with 3 hours 12 minutes for men.

The screen issues can creep up suddenly, with parents often unprepared and unsupported when it comes to digital wellbeing and literacy strategies for both themselves and their children.

Who is writing the rules on screen time?

Screen-based media use is both a blessing and a guilt-inducing curse for parents, and yep – it’s mothers who are often primarily responsible for creating and implementing their own rulebooks around digital devices.

These plans are regularly based on an adhoc combination of information – gathered from call-outs in Facebook Mums groups, encountering ‘advice’ (ironically) on social media platforms, and from government health directives (which often lack the practical microskills and ready-to-use strategies needed).

Distilling and critically appraising this information, alongside acknowledging and honouring our own sense of ‘what’s best’ for our children and family, can be a significant task. Women can find themselves having to put in more work around building their skills around media literacy, and learning how to tame their own technology habits to model healthy ones to youngsters.

There is no single agreed upon playbook for managing screen use – partly because the use of screens is such a multimodal and multifaceted activity very specific to individuals and families, and partly because this complexity makes it hard to study well. Again, this can leave parents (and so often mothers) with an additional unpaid duty, far more complicated than arranging school holiday activities or helping out with the P&C: that of managing the issues that arise out of children’s media habits. 

These can range from selecting quality age-appropriate content and supervising online activities to deploying software to help avoid exposure to unsuitable material. There there is the feat of transitioning kids off screens when they’ve had their ‘dose’ and the emotional labour of bargaining and negotiating for different games and devices (pro-tip: outsource the due diligence to your kids).

There is no ‘right’ way

We are currently in the process of having to create the recipe for screen time use. Just like with making the best pizza dough or pancakes, we have to wade through the options to get it ‘right’ for our families – even though there is no ‘right’ way, only what works in the most part for you.

The simplistic time-based limits (which were created out of sedentary guidelines) have been virtually impossible to abide by for years as screens show up in the crevices of our lives, colonising everywhere from social spaces to shopping malls. Setting time-based limits is an easy and measurable place to start, but a singular focus on time spent belies the complexity of the screenome – an individual’s use of and experiences with screens that, over time, shape their psychological and social life on devices.

It’s not just how long our kids are using screens, but what they’re using screens for and the content they’re interacting with.

Parents deserve more support and guidance, otherwise they’re driving their family’s digital use in the dark.

Our ‘digital village’ starts with co-parenting and co-caring and extends to our community and collective-  where we create agreements that don’t simply dictate tech-use contracts but that also give young people a voice to co-design their own digital wellbeing plans. Investing collectively in building these skills helps share the mental load, provides insight into how mum’s think and solve problems (role modelled) and builds connection simultaneously.

Start early, talk often

The multifaceted task of managing screen time requires having more collaborative and explicit conversations about screen activities and habits.

Given that many children’s digital footprint starts with a sonogram before they arrive earthside, and on average they will have nearly 1000 photos of them shared online by the time they are 5, it’s never too early to start learning principles of digital wellbeing.

Children are accessing technology earlier and earlier. Starting young with developing these skills and principles sets parents and children up on a journey together for lifelong digital literacy. I would argue that waiting until kids are at school or worse, officially old enough to join Instagram to build the skills and put the guardrails in place is leaving it disastrously late.

It’s not just toddlers using tablets we’re concerned about, it’s our own both incidental and purposeful use that is sometimes referred to like passive smoking for screentime (as if you didn’t have enough to worry about). Kids observe and mimic us, and their nervous systems wire up in parallel to ours, so having the skills and resources to support our own digital wellbeing is a protective factor for our kids.

Ditching the guilt

‘Mothers guilt’ is real and in the context of devices, has been found to increase alongside screen use for recreation.  Ditching guilt is about looking realistically and compassionately at what we are *really* trying to do with limited resources and those stubborn 24 hours in a day.

As Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play framework and quest for chore equity suggests, getting aligned on values and being able to not just ask for, but demand support and co-piloting devices (where this is possible) is a powerful way to feel seen and understood in relationships and community.

Screen time is often a saviour, they can be a staple of modern lives for a good proportion of the population. Feeling like you’re in the ‘screen time sin bin’ is misplaced energy. Instead, feeling empowered to incorporate screens into family life in informed and intentional ways helps with meaningful skills to build digital competencies that your kids will need for their digitally immersed future.

We’re all doing our best in a hyper-connected, on-demand world where the ‘off switch’ has malfunctioned and the wifi is considered essential. Gathering energy, collaborating and proactively planning for our screen habits is a job worth doing.

Jocelyn Brewer’s Screens in Early Childhood program starts on 24 October.

The post Managing screen time is adding to the mental load of mums appeared first on Women's Agenda.

In the week after giving birth, she was told she was experiencing the “baby blues” and that she’d probably start to feel better after 10 days. But that didn’t happen. 

“With each day passing, my state of wellbeing got worse and I was unable to function,” Sarah Pont shares with Women’s Agenda.

Perinatal depression and anxiety are very common conditions that affect around 1 in 5 women, and have significant adverse health effects for both mothers and infants. The perinatal period includes pregnancy, through to 12 months after birth.

Pont said she was desperate for answers at the time, and wanted to be told what she was experiencing was “common” and importantly, “fixable”.

Pont’s mother did some online research to find some crisis support, and came across a counselling organisation who gave her access to an online cognitive behavioural therapy (iCBT) program. 

The program Pont was given access to was from THIS WAY UP – part of the Clinical Research Unit for Anxiety and Depression, a joint facility of St Vincent’s Hospital and the University of New South Wales.

The online CBT program is one that has been clinically proven in the effective treatment of perinatal depression and anxiety in a recent study that was made possible by a research grant from the HCF Research Foundation. 

Dr Alison Mahoney, the lead researcher of the study and a senior clinical psychologist, said internet-delivered CBT is important for those experiencing perinatal anxiety or depression, because of its ease of access.

“Cognitive behaviour therapy or ‘CBT’ is a recommended first-line psychological treatment for mild to moderate perinatal anxiety and depression, and internet-delivered CBT (iCBT) can be quickly accessed by thousands of women at no or very low cost,” Dr Mahoney told Women’s Agenda.

“Sadly, mental health screening and assessment are far from universal, and many women who do screen positive for illness do not engage in treatment.”

“There are multiple barriers limiting access to traditional face-to-face therapy, including costs, long waitlists, distance to services, lack of services, childcare difficulties, and perceived stigma associated with seeking mental health treatment as a mother,” Dr Mahoney explains.

“These barriers can be even more pronounced in regional and rural areas.”

“Online cognitive behaviour therapy programs, like those at THIS WAY UP, help lots of people get around these barriers, and we’ve seen a big increase in demand for online treatment approaches since the COVID pandemic.”

Dr Mahoney says integrating online CBT programs into routine perinatal care will mean thousands more women like Sarah Pont are able to access the mental health care they need quickly and confidentially. 

Pont says the program from THIS WAY UP helped give her some structure in her days, something that is difficult to come by as the mother of a newborn.

“As someone who thrives on routine and structure, having a newborn with no difference between night and day was a shock to my system,” Pont explains. 

“I was able to set aside time each day to log in and complete the coursework and this gave me some structure to my day.”

She says she would definitely recommend it to any other women who are in need of mental health support.

“There is nothing to lose by participating in the program and understanding that what you are experiencing is common and there are actions you can take NOW to lead you on the path of healing,” she said. 

“The program can be accessed any time that suits you. I would recommend it to any pregnant or new mothers who might need some clarity around what they are feeling and experiencing.”

The perinatal anxiety and depression programs on offer at THIS WAY UP have been used within routine care clinics for a few years now, Dr Mahoney says. 

“Over this time, we have been evaluating them and exploring the different ways women and their clinicians have been using them. Like our research trials, we’ve seen that the programs are associated with significant reductions in anxiety, depression and distress for women using them in the real-world,” she said.

“We’ve also seen that the flexibility is important when applying the programs in real life. Some women want to engage with the programs independently, while others want to work with their clinician, like their GP,  midwife, psychologist, or psychiatrist. 

“Some women try a program while they are waiting for face-to-face therapy, and others complete their program alongside other treatments.”

Feature Image: Sarah Pont with her daughter.

The post How a new online program is helping mothers experiencing perinatal depression and anxiety appeared first on Women's Agenda.

The motherhood penalty occurs primarily because women take time out of the workforce or work fewer hours after having a child. However, the penalty was the same regardless of a woman’s breadwinner status before having children and remains persistent for at least a decade into parenthood. 

“This is the case even for women who significantly out-earn their partner,” the analysis said.

“Furthermore, highly educated women experience a larger penalty, despite the higher opportunity cost of reducing their participation– suggesting again that choices around work and care are not always responding purely to financial considerations.”

As for becoming a father? The analysis found men’s earnings were “unaffected by entry into parenthood”.  

Even so, researchers found that neither mums or fathers feel wholly satisfied in the gendered expectations of raising a child. 

Using data from the Australian Taxation Office and the Melbourne Institute’s Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey, the analysis found the following to be true: Fathers feel their work negatively affects their family life and mums feel their family life negatively affects their work.

The last ten years have seen a considerable reduction in gender inequality but researchers say there’s still a notable gender gap in Australia. 

“A gender earnings gap presents a challenge for aggregate output and productivity,” says Treasury researchers. “It typically represents significant untapped potential in the labour market.”

Compared to other countries, Australia’s estimated long-run motherhood penalty looks similar to the United Kingdom and fairs behind places like Denmark, Sweden and the US but ahead of Germany and Austria. 

Countries with more conservative gender norms have worse long-run penalties, according to the analysis.

The analysis points out that Australia’s positioning across countries suggests underlying gender norms likely reinforce the motherhood penalty.

Workplace flexibility also proves to be an important factor affecting the penalty.

The analysis found that “women who had greater access to flexible conditions before having children are more likely to remain employed after having children.”

Nonetheless, workplace flexibility isn’t a fix-all. Even women in flexible occupations were found to cop a wage penalty and forgo promotion opportunities due to motherhood and the extra household responsibilities they take on. 

The motherhood penalty is a complex issue that requires complex solutions and with neither gender feeling satisfied in the balance between family and work following parenthood, there’s likely a need for more equal allocation of responsibilities.

Grattan Institute senior researcher Kate Griffiths told the Financial Review that better balance could be achieved by giving families more flexibility when it comes to accessing parental leave. 

Griffiths also pointed out that reducing childcare costs would increase female workforce participation.

The analysis shows that social norms, workplace norms and government policy settings all seem to contribute to barriers in closing the gender pay gap and putting an end to the motherhood penalty. 

Treasury researchers say, “Tackling these barriers will nonetheless be a necessary precursor to further gains in female labour force participation, the allocation of talent across paid and unpaid work, and improved diversity in the workplace.”

The post ‘Motherhood penalty’: Women’s earnings halve in first 5 years of parenthood appeared first on Women's Agenda.

Your baby’s nursery plays a vital role in both yours and their comfort, and it pays to spend a bit of time getting the key elements of your home nursery right. 

Whether you’re welcoming a new sibling or you’re a first-time parent, there’s always something to learn. La-Z-Boy has some excellent guidance to help you out on this one.

Pick a Colour Palette

Nursery decor has come a long way since the days of pink or blue. You no longer have to feel pressured to create a room based on your baby’s gender. 

It might be easier to start with a more neutral palette and add furnishings and colour accents that you and your growing baby enjoy as you get to know them. 

Or you can go all out and choose a bright colour or theme – it’s totally up to you.

Think about what you’ll enjoy the most and a colour scheme that helps you feel relaxed while using the room.

Consider Ambience

The lighting in your home nursery is essential. Your new baby will spend a significant amount of time sleeping and napping during the day. You want to ensure you can keep the room dark enough so they can rest undisturbed.

You’ll also need to consider nighttime feeds and changes! 

Consider dimmable light fixtures and lamps with differing brightness levels. For windows, consider soft coverings as well as blackout blinds. 

Be prepared for every eventuality, and also consider placement. A lamp with a floor pedal switch near the door or the changing area will be easy to use when you need it most.

Use Savvy Storage

Every new parent starts creating their nursery space with a clear and clean aesthetic in mind – only for that to go out the window once baby arrives, and the reality of everything sinks in!

Don’t get too bogged down in keeping things tidy all the time (it’s just not realistic in those early days) but do think about how practical storage solutions can help you maintain a clutter-free space.

As well as drawer space, consider open-top laundry baskets for both clean and dirty clothes (for easy access) and never underestimate the value of an excellent nappy bin. 

Add Your Main Stars

If planning your nursery is starting to feel overwhelming, take a step back. It’s normal to experience a bit of decision fatigue in this process with all the options out there.

Instead, focus on the key pieces you know your nursery needs – the rest can come later.

The main pieces you must have include:

• A safe cot and/or bassinet.
• A changing table.
• A set of drawers and/or wardrobe.
• A comfortable nursing chair.

You’ll spend a significant amount of time in the early months awake feeding your newborn at all hours of the day, so when picking your chair – go for optimum comfort! 

La-Z-Boy knows the value of a comfortable chair to help you get through those midnight feeds, fully enjoy cuddle time, and simply have a personal spot to relax when you need it most. Their comfort range offers a fantastic selection of colours and sizes.

Better yet, their stylish chairs all come with built-in footrests – a small detail that will make a huge difference when you need it most.

No matter what design ideas you have for your home nursery, La-Z-Boy has you covered when it comes to your nursing chair options, ready for you to create your most perfect nursery yet.

The post How to Create the Perfect Home Nursery appeared first on Women's Agenda.

A parent’s level of perceived stress is determined by their perception of the demands placed on them and of their capability to handle these stressors. Which means the same things that cause one person stress may be different to those that impact someone else. Unsurprisingly, common issues that can increase stress levels include things like long work hours, financial insecurity and lack of social support.

Socioeconomic factors in particular can impact a parent’s stress levels and affect their ability to control their home environment and promote healthy behaviours in their children. Ultimately, women of low socioeconomic status report higher levels of stress and their children have worse eating habits and higher rates of obesity.

Research shows that children of stressed parents tend to eat more unhealthy food, engage in less exercise, and be more likely to be overweight or obese. This is likely due to the difficulties of managing children’s behaviour when stressed. For instance, parents have reported that stress, fatigue or a lack of time made them less inclined to prepare home cooked meals and more likely to turn to fast food. This is supported by associations between parents’ stress and permissive parenting practices, which include things like giving into children’s demands for unhealthy food. Additionally, stressed parents are more likely to engage in dysregulated eating behaviours, such as emotional eating. These behaviours can then be passed onto children, explaining the higher rates of overeating and emotional eating among children of stressed parents.

Current interventions to address childhood obesity often try to improve diet, physical activity and sedentary behaviour through education and behavioural therapy. However, there isn’t much evidence that these programs have consistent or sustainable benefits and many programs report issues with adherence. The programs are often more successful if they include social supports or mindfulness-based parent stress interventions.

If we were to make structural changes to reduce our stress levels, what would it look like?

Research indicates that stress levels can be reduced through things like a Universal Basic Income, a 4 day work week and higher levels of social support, particularly for single parents and those in lower socioeconomic areas.

We can also make healthy choices easier for stressed parents. While a child surrounded by fast food restaurants and junk food advertisements is bound to want them, someone growing up in a safe neighbourhood with a lot of green space will be able to play outside, and have more exercise.

There are huge benefits to be gained from restricting advertisements, improving healthy food availability, and increasing neighbourhood walkability and access to green space. These environmental changes can reduce parents stress levels and allow them to promote healthy behaviours even when they are stressed.

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Previously, only public servants who were the “maternal” parent could access 14 weeks paid parental leave, while the “other” parent – most typically the father – has been entitled to 1 week of paid leave.

From 1 July 2021, any parent will be entitled to 14 weeks paid parental leave, a policy change that is the result of a decade-long campaign by the Public Service Association for equal parental leave for both parents.

Stewart Little, General secretary of the Public Service Association NSW said it was a huge win for families and gender equity.

“This gives families more choice about how they’ll care for their new child. But it also means women will be able to more readily return to work once they’re ready, knowing that the other parent also has access to paid parental leave,” Little said.

“Both parents should be able to take time to bond with their new child, to learn how to care for them, and to share the load. Neither parent should be in a position where they have to make a choice between their career or their child.

“Universal paid parental leave makes NSW public sector workplaces fairer, and paves the way for the private sector to follow.”

Little said the changes to paid parental leave for NSW public servants would help address gender inequality in the workforce.

“We know the longer women spend away from the professional workforce the harder it becomes to return. As a result we see a widening gender pay gap, and women’s superannuation balances suffer,” he said.

“There is no silver bullet to addressing gender inequality in our workplaces. But universal parental leave paves the way for significant cultural shift.”

George Harle, a school learning support officer in NSW, said having access to 14 weeks paid parental leave would be a game-changer for many dads like himself who currently work in the NSW public sector.

“My first son was born at the beginning of 2020 and because of grossly limited leave options, I missed out on a crucial period with him as I was forced to return to work after a couple of weeks,” Harle told Women’s Agenda.

“This policy will make a huge difference if we decide to have a second child and will allow us to divide time fairly without mammoth setbacks to career progression. It’s excellent that my partner will be able to return to work after her leave entitlements come to an end knowing that our baby is safe and happy with me at home.”

Last week, the Public Sector Industrial Relations advised the Public Sector Association that it would expand the NSW public sector parental leave entitlement to allow the “other” parent to access two weeks paid leave at the time of birth, adoption, or surrogacy, plus an additional 12 weeks paid leave in the first 12 months of the child’s life. The 12 weeks can also be taken at 24 weeks half pay.

One member of the Public Sector Association said the new policy would be beneficial for him and his family, and will help his wife to complete her Masters degree.

“I recently took eight weeks off after the birth of my daughter In December last year. As a father, I only had access to one week of paid parental leave, the remaining seven weeks was scrapped together using a salad of recreation leave, accrued flex leave and leave without pay,” he said.

“Having 14 weeks of fully paid parental leave will be massive for me and my family. It will make it so much less stressful for my wife and I to have more children. Importantly, it will enable her to complete her Masters and get back to her career as a clinical neuropsychologist.”

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Like the mythological yoga heroes that have gone before them, pregnant women need to be strong both physically and mentally to cope with the seismic shift in their lives.

I know this because I arrived on this well-trodden battlefield eight years ago when I had my son, Gabriel .

Until that time, I had spent the better part of two decades acting, writing, traveling and practicing yoga. I discovered yoga while studying Economics at Sydney university. Like most young people, I was struggling to make sense of adulthood and searching for tangible tools to help me do so. Fortunately, a very zen-minded psychiatrist pointed me in the direction of literature exposing these interesting practices I’d heard of called Buddhism and yoga philosophy.

I was hooked. In the years that followed, I pivoted between yoga teaching styles and travelled the globe to better understand the teachings. No matter what else was happening in my life, the yoga was my constant companion. The not negotiable. My home. Then along came the bump. And by bump, I mean – in every sense.

As Play School presenter I’ve been around thousands of kids. However, when you become a parent you realise no matter how many hours you’ve spent on the mat, or on meditation retreat, or with other people’s kids, you are entering a brand new battlefield. The real yoga begins now. It’s time to warrior up. Needless to say, there is no way I could have survived pregnancy and parenthood without yoga.

Now, as the facilitator of BodyMindLife in Sydney’s Pre & Post Natal Yoga Teacher Training, I empower teachers and parents-to-be to practice safely and confidently, through a tailored program designed for mums of any stage, situation, shape or experience. Whether seasoned practitioners or absolute beginners, these practices are not only appropriate, but life- changing. For new and expectant mothers the benefits are endless.

Strength building

A regular yoga practice builds strength in parts of the body that carry more weight in the later stages of pregnancy. From the lower back, to the hips and belly, we need to build our body’s natural support system. As expectant mums lose access to deeper core muscles, the body is supported by a body that has gradually built strength in supportive areas.

Finding mobility

Yoga is one of the only forms of exercise during pregnancy that keeps the body mobile in a safe way. The practice can be strong without being dynamic. In pre and postnatal yoga we focus on opening areas that tend to get closed off or tight like the shoulders, hips and backs of the legs.

Learning to breathe

 Learning how to actually use the breath through practice to switch on a parasympathetic nervous system (the rest and restore response) can be an expectant mama’s superpower. Breath work can become especially potent when mums are seeking calmness in labour and the postnatal period .

Developing mindful muscles

We all know that yoga is more than a physical practice. Yoga gives us the tools to develop the mental skills and resilience we need in the pre and postnatal period. We learn to foster an ability to sit in discomfort in a safe way, by focusing on breath or sound.

Offering time to surrender

So much time during new parenthood is about learning to let go. The practice of yoga is incredible at teaching us to be warrior strong, and yet able to fully surrender all at once. Surrendering is a skill that is needed beyond pregnancy and well into motherhood.

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“Revolutions that last don’t happen from the top down. They happen from the bottom up.”

Have you seen that fab video that went viral in April, of an English family singing their very own lockdown version of Les Misérables’ One Day More? It’s funny and poignant (plus packed full of far too much talent for one family), and it firmly planted the Les Mis soundtrack into my brain throughout #iso.

No matter what side of the musical theatre fence you fall on, one thing’s for certain – Les Mis and their rumblings of a revolution are starting to feel a little … How should I put this? Relevant? Familiar? All round motivating?

Because over the past few months, many of us have been wondering what this global pandemic would mean for us all – long term. What changes it could enable and what we could gain from these months of disarray. And you know what? From my perspective, it’s become pretty clear. Lockdown has been so much more than a few months of flexibility. It’s shaken the ground below our feet, to make way for a revolution. A working parents’ revolution…do you hear the people sing?

The old way wasn’t working

For far too long, it’s been an uphill battle for working parents (predominantly mothers). Research – too much of it to be honest – shows that the old way wasn’t working. That parents and carers were discriminated against and penalised in the workforce and weren’t empowered to balance their careers and care. That businesses lost top performers to caring responsibilities. That women – 95% of primary carers – and part timers (just 6% of managers in Australia work part time), continued to be under-represented in leadership roles, and live with a gender pay gap of 14%.

And don’t even get me started on childcare…But now that I’ve gone there – how is it that a nation like Australia is still so stuck in the dark ages when it comes to mainstreaming affordable early learning? In the past 10 years Australian parents have spent up to 25% of their income on childcare. Government failings to provide an affordable early learning system remains the single biggest barrier to female participation….

And that’s just the impact on those of us with relative privilege.

In a webinar this week I was asked by a manager how best to accommodate the flexible work arrangements of a single mother. According to Australian Council of Social Services, more than one-third of single mothers – 37% – live below the poverty line. My response was to drop the pity, and prioritise dignity, and that means doing whatever is in your power to keep that mother employed and engaged in meaningful work

There’s no going back

There’s no doubt that his pandemic has enforced underlying gender norms – norms that see women shouldering the majority of care responsibilities (76.2% of unpaid care hours, to be specific). Newgate Research’s national poll revealed that women have carried a ‘triple load’ throughout the pandemic, which includes paid work, care work, and the mental labour of worrying (that sounds familiar … ), plus, they’ve had the kicker of looking after educational responsibilities for their kids, which in turn can limit work opportunities.

But in these grey skies, we’ve also seen some glimmers of sunshine.

COVID-19 – for all its many faults, has shaken things up for working parents.

Many single parents too have benefited from the new coronavirus payment to the tune of $550 per-fortnight in addition to the usual JobSeeker benefit.

And of course the ultimate game changer has been that childcare (whilst not a perfect model) has been FREE!!!

And from a workplace perspective, we now know that it’s possible – completely, utterly possible – for mandated flexibility to be implemented and enabled a greater involvement of men in care and domestic work – involvement that could have important impacts on gender equality.

Now that things are starting to return to ‘normal’, employers are calling for teams to inch back to the office and the government is alluding to rolling back childcare and coronavirus payments, our gender equality progress faces a massive risk of slipping backward.

So how do we snap forward to create ongoing flexible work practices that not only contribute to a more equitable sharing of care and domestic work, but also support women’s increased labour force participation?

Flex Forever? Proceed with caution

Many workplaces seem to be rightly focused on flexibility moving forward. But we say proceed with caution where flexibility does not level the playing field.

As workplaces survey staff about flexible working preferences and travel/commute logistics, we’re simultaneously hearing that those who are ‘ready to return to work immediately’ are, for the most part, male executives and supervisors, and younger people with no caring responsibilities.

Policy-making post COVID-19 cannot be to the detriment of gender equality. In fact, given the impact of this pandemic on gender inequality, they should be exactly the opposite. Workplaces need to avoid normalising women (and some men) as an invisible class of workers if they elect to take up more flexibility, particularly while ‘care-free’ managers (still disproportionately men) return to the office to get noticed and to advance their careers. Doing so would be disastrous – for women, men and workplaces.

If workplaces fail to reimagine the way they return to work, and fail to view the opportunity with a gendered lens, we – as a society – will have lost the lesson. To make flex stick, we need to rise up and demand better! Flex must be about levelling the playing field and new policies must enshrine gender equality and anti-discrimination principles.

“If you are successful, it is because somewhere, sometime, someone gave you a life or an idea that started you in the right direction. Remember also that you are indebted to life until you help some less fortunate person, just as you were helped.” 

Melinda Gates

This is our moment to LIFT

Of course – it’s not just up to our managers and leaders to drive change. It’s everyone’s responsibility and we need to take matters into our own hands (it is a revolution, after all!). This is the time to seek out and nurture relationships with sponsors. It’s the time to know – and own – our ambition. To have a professional vision that is clear and propels us forward. To know organisational policies so that we can take control of our careers and our futures. In short? It’s time to own our agency and be empowered.

We have enough research about how bad the world is for women, or carers! Instead, demand to be served with what works. Which is exactly what we at Grace Papers focus on – evidence based social change strategies that actually work. So that each and every one of us understand our agency, our relative privilege, and how we can use both to move towards a world in which women and men are equally responsible for the most important decisions in our world.

We don’t just owe it to ourselves, or even to our children. We owe it to every woman who has no voice at the table, and to those responsible for starting the many phases of this movement towards equality.

Now is our time to stand on the shoulders of the great many giants who have paved the way before us. Feminists – women and men – who demanded the right to vote for women, to no fault divorce, enshrined rights to request flexible work, sex discrimination protections, equal pay and more recently childcare and paid parental leave.

More recently, and driven by employee activism, we’ve heralded generational change to outdated attitudes which have seen corporate leaders increasingly involved in human rights advocacy for social policy. Would we have been able to celebrate same sex marriage without CEO activism?

As Gloria Steinem so rightly says, ‘the future depends entirely on what each of us does every day.’ Her views are backed up by social change theory that says the most effective way to drive social change is to empower those with most to gain. Which means that each one of us (working parents) has a role to play in snapping forward out of this pandemic, into a world that better reflects the needs of those with care responsibilities, of modern families and for that matter modern business.

Want to help drive the change and address flex stigma once and for all?

1. Know your rights & how to use them responsibly and effectively.
2. Get clarity as to what you need, what you want, and your value.
3. Understand your agency and be prepared to advocate for it.
4. Speak up and be prepared to ask the difficult questions of your leaders, to be and see the change you wish to see in this world.
5. Remind yourself that this isn’t just a responsibility to yourself – its our collective responsibility to advocate alongside those without access to the same power, privilege and influence, including the next generation of future leaders. 

The post ‘There’s no going back’: The pandemic has shone a light on the flex future we should strive for appeared first on Women's Agenda.

This was my immediate thought upon discovering the firstborn child I was carrying was a girl. I wasn’t going to fall into any traps around overly defined and limiting gender roles. My daughter was going to be free to express herself however she chose, without some predetermined notion of overt femininity shoved on her from day one.

Of course, I wound up with the girliest of girls who dressed exclusively in tutus from ages two to five.

By the time daughter number two came along, I was a little more relaxed. But I resisted dance lessons, despite many friends getting their girls involved as soon as they could walk.

Hair flicks and hip swivels

Growing up, I was something of a ‘tomboy’. I’d always sneered at dancers. The over-the-top makeup. The drama and theatrics. The way the only role for women at football games was to dance for ogling men. I not-so-secretly thought of them as embarrassing relics, setting the feminist movement back with each hair flick and hip swivel.

And yet, my daughters loved to dance. From an early age, they gravitated to any kind of music, from chubby baby bum wiggling to Elsa-inspired Broadway routines as they grew older.

It wasn’t long until my youngest daughter shyly professed that she would like to go to dance lessons. And that’s how I recently found myself at my first dance concert.

I was, of course, excited about seeing my nearly-five-year old up in lights. I knew how hard she’d worked on her routine and how thrilled she was to be performing for us.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how moved I would be by all the performances. How proudly female it was. Here were girls of all ages and ethnicities, all shapes and sizes, demonstrating great athleticism and strength. But more than that, there was beauty and emotion in their performances. Intelligence and teamwork too.

Set to a powerful soundtrack, covering everything from Billie Eilish to Missy Elliot to Beyonce,  and choreographed by an all-female teaching staff, these girls performed whole-heartedly. They came alive on the stage. They were truly in the flow.

This wasn’t for the male gaze, I realised. This was for them. 

Stepping into power

Despite my grungy exterior and rejection of traditional female endeavours, hadn’t I always loved to dance? Hadn’t I secretly adored pop music? Wasn’t I still the first one onto the dancefloor at any wedding? Wasn’t there something joyous and ancient and human about moving my body freely and expressing myself without words?

By the end of the show, I was a convert. On the stage I saw girls step into their power. Lose themselves in the rhythm. Discover their confidence.

The patriarchy teaches us that anything feminine is inherently less-than, frivolous, silly. By scorning dance, I was perpetuating the stereotype that only tough, serious, male-focused pursuits are worthy of appreciation.

This particular dance school seemed to be entirely female, although I know dance is just as important to many boys. I have friends whose boys love many aspects of so-called ‘feminine’ activities, from dancing to singing to painting their toenails and playing with dolls. They do it because they enjoy it and their world has enabled it. 

But how many boys are shamed into rejecting dance and sparkles and even their emotions? How much of themselves are they being forced to give up to fit an idea of masculinity? 

Harry Styles was trending on Twitter this week after causing a (somewhat predictable) stir for wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue. It was hardly groundbreaking, coming some 40-odd years after David Bowie and Elton John, and yet it feels like each new generation of boys is required to keep fighting for their right to embrace their softer sides.

.@harry_styles is our December issue cover star!

Read how the star is making and playing by his own rules: https://t.co/tQPLi5OEtj pic.twitter.com/AxZgxE68Rx

— Vogue Magazine (@voguemagazine) November 13, 2020

As parents, are we doing enough to foster an appreciation for both the feminine and masculine view of the world? Dancing and dirt play? Emotional intelligence and physical strength? Compassion and self-confidence?

Keeping the fire alive

Walking out of the auditorium with my elated daughter, I asked her how it had felt to perform.

“It felt good,” she said simply, in the way of children her age.

She may decide in time she’s had enough of dance lessons. She may end up becoming a rugby league player or mountain climber or chess grandmaster or something else altogether.

I’m ok with that. I just hope she keeps the fire inside her alive. The one I saw burning ever-so-brightly on that stage.

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