I took Sheryl Sandberg's advice and leaned in. It didn't work.

I took Sheryl Sandberg’s advice and leaned in. It didn’t work.

Lean In

I appeared to be the perfect audience for Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean in, when it was first released in 2013. In my early 30s, I had clocked up more than a decade in the workforce after graduating from university and was in a team leader role. I was not married, did not have children and was keen to progress my career – Sandberg’s ideal candidate.

I leaned in so hard in the following years that I amassed a fifty-thousand-dollar higher education debt enrolling in and completing a Masters degree. Many weekends were spent volunteering and I recommended the book to younger women colleagues. I put my hand up for various workplace committees and regularly worked over the Christmas and New Year period to allow colleagues with families some time off, often acting in more senior roles without any additional pay.

I applied for promotions across a number of sectors, was assertive and indicated my interest in appropriate opportunities to superiors. I attended interviews and had careers coaching. I engaged a professional resume company and removed my do-it-yourself photograph from LinkedIn.

Working full-time and juggling part-time studies was a struggle. I took comfort in the notion that all my efforts would eventually pay off. As a member of Generation X, I swallowed the story, hook, line and sinker that hard work and persistence was enough. My track record would hold me in good stead.

So, what happened after many years of leaning in? Well, nothing really. There were no ‘taps on the shoulder’, no promotions, no head hunting by recruiters and negligible financial rewards. The resume now packed with various accomplishments possibly had the opposite effect – it was suggested to me that I might wish to remove some of my experience, lest I have more qualifications or expertise than those on the hiring panel.

It is important to note that I am a middle-class, cis, straight white woman. If this was my experience, what was happening to women of colour, those from the LGBTIQ+ community and women with a disability? Or women who belong to several of these communities? In 2018 Michelle Obama made a game-changing comment. Whilst on her book tour for Becoming (which I also devoured), she mentioned that leaning in is not always enough, that it doesn’t work all the time. Finally someone had said it. I could let myself off the hook.

There are a range of other factors that can impact on women’s career progression. From ableism, racism, sexism and ageism, along with cronyism and nepotism, plus a healthy dollop of office politics and strategising, it can be damn near impossible at times. I was deemed ‘too young’ for my first fifteen years in the workforce and am now precariously heading into the ‘too old’ category.

My advice to younger women in the workforce? Ensure you have a life and an identity that is not wholly centred around whatever it is you do to pay the bills. You are so much more and don’t need validation through your employment. And only lean in if you really want to, not because you think you should.  

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